Art of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is nothing else but to free you from the mentality of a victim. Forgive itself says give-up your anger, your negative feelings, and the impact of wrongdoings of others. Simply means give-up being anger, intolerance, and hatred and replace it with love and acceptance, then you feel free.

If your heart does not feel the generosity of forgiveness toward your offender for their wrongdoing, then remember on the good that forgiveness will do for you. Unfortunately, by giving into negative emotions you are still allowing that person to win. Don’t let the darkness overcome the light. The real victory is that show the person who hurt you that you are better than the forces of their negativity. You choose peace rather than bitterness and anger. You deserve joyful life, no one can ruin it.

Forgive yourself- This will become the first step toward forgiveness. Knowingly or unknowingly you did something wrong and hurt yourself. Later you start regretting why I did it? By doing this you are blaming yourself and sometimes underestimate yourself as well. Is this the right way of living?

People ask us to simply get over it but without understanding our own wounds and find a way to heal them. It may take little time to overcome but believe me if you do it you will feel free. Forgive yourself for being hurt by this person or thing, and perhaps own your part in it. Know that you are wiser now, and make a conscious choice to set boundaries and take care of yourself.

Learn a lesson- Remember, you are a learner, not a victim. Victim mentality will close the doors and you will always remain on the dark side. As you grow you are in process of development like physical, mental, or spiritual. In the path of self-development, you need to understand and learn great things as well as bitter.

Learning comes from bad experiences. If someone did horrible actions and maybe you paid too much for it, don’t letting go of it in vain. Take a good lessen rather remorse it for your entire life. Lessons like-Don’t trust anyone so easily.

                              'Don’t allow anyone to play with your emotions and feelings.'
                  ' Don’t be in a hurry all time.'
                'Listen, understand and observe things before taking any decision.'

Take responsibility- Ultimately, we all make our own choices. Whatever position you found yourself in, and whomever you chose to associate with, and whatever decisions you made that got you into this state, you put yourself there and made those decisions yourself, unless someone held a gun to your head. Realizing that you made the decisions puts the control back in your hands. But rather than be angry at yourself for your mistakes, know that you, in fact, you have control, which is empowering, and this will help you in the future to help yourself. 

Perspective is everything- This person, or this event, is one of many in your life. While it can be part of what defines you, so will many other people and events. You get to decide how much or how little these things contribute to the person you are busy becoming. It’s up to you how much this matters to you.

 Remember, though, that bad things that happen don’t have to leave us with bad consequences. It might be wise to allow a hurtful experience to change you— for the better. The most pleasure is to get rid of what you cannot hold within, free from all anger and stress. It takes less energy to forgive than it does to stay entangled.

Develop an understanding- Try to think yourself in their shoe, try to understand the circumstances in which that person did something wrong with you. Maybe he did not do it intentionally he tried to do something good but unfortunately, it turns into a bad one. It is likely that person is in pain or stress. In life, everyone experiences these kinds of situations. Your forgiveness gives him new ways to deal with things without hurting anyone else in the future.

“Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.” While we might never know the reasons for specific events or why someone has hurt us, we can accept that everything and everyone moves from one of two basic emotions: love or fear. If someone has caused you harm, it can be helpful to understand that they are coming from a place of fear. You can act in more peaceful ways, treating him with love and generosity. Generosity is key to accepting the wrongdoings of other people’s. It is more than likely that these people are in some kind of pain. It might have happened that you hurt someone and when you were forgiven.

Forgiveness does not mean that what this person has done is okay, that you will forget or you will allow that person again in the future. It just freeing yourself from the burden of negativity. There will be a time when you feel unable to forgive, make a pact with yourself to refuse to act on your anger until you forgive. You will never want to think at the end of your life to remain angry with anyone.