The True Nature of Relationships

 Opening Note

This reflection is not about relationships in the conventional sense—family, friends, or couples—but about the very fabric of life that binds us to existence itself. Through this lens, we look beyond roles and identities to the deeper inquiry: What does it truly mean to be in relationship?

What is a relationship beyond social conditioning, and can it serve as a path to self-understanding rather than dependency?

Relationship means "being related to something"—a bond that helps us feel fulfilled and supports our survival. Yet most people confuse relationships with socially conditioned roles that often lead to suffering, expectations, and a diminishing of self-worth.

Jiddu Krishnamurti said that life cannot exist in isolation, and I agree. Even for physical survival, we depend on natural resources—food, shelter, and in today’s world, money. Scientifically, too, everything is interconnected. Quantum physics offers a glimpse into this interdependence through the concept of quantum entanglement—when two or more particles are connected, a change in one instantly affects the other, no matter how far apart they are. We are not as separate as we assume.

To “be in relation” is our natural state. Beyond survival, we form relationships with people, objects, nature, and ideas—mostly driven by our needs, desires, and personal motives. We seek luxuries, validation, and identity through external associations, consuming endlessly without awareness or limits.

We’ve confused exploration with exploitation. In our desire to know and possess, we begin to deplete the very things we claim to love—nature, people, and even ourselves.

Our identities become shaped by our relationships. We derive self-worth from others' opinions, becoming puppets of society, tradition, and beliefs—often without even realizing it.

When we say "my brother," do we know the person, or do we simply value how they serve our emotional needs? Most relationships are transactional—based on what the other provides. Have you ever loved someone without needing something in return? Love without expectation?

Often, we project our desires onto others. We think we love them, but we only love the reflection of our own beliefs and needs in them. If they change or assert their individuality, the relationship becomes strained. We begin depending on others for our happiness, forgetting that we've barely taken responsibility for our own thoughts and behaviors.

This is the root of relational conflict—we demand that others live for us, revolve around us. But anyone with true awareness will resist this, knowing that they are not here to fulfill someone else's script but to discover their own truth.

A real relationship begins when two complete individuals come together not out of need, but from a shared intent to grow and explore truth. One of the most powerful paths to self-awareness is being in conscious relationship—with a partner, a friend, or even in solitude with nature.

In a true relationship, there is space to be your authentic self—free of masks, fear, or pressure to change. It becomes a mirror through which love, understanding, and companionship emerge naturally—not rooted in expectation, but in freedom.

 The Mirror Nature of Relationships: “Every relationship is a mirror—reflecting parts of ourselves we often ignore. Sometimes love, sometimes fear. Instead of asking what the other person is giving or lacking, we can ask, ‘What am I seeing in them that I haven’t seen in me?’

Relationship with Nature & Non-Humans: “Our most primal relationship is with the Earth itself—its air, water, soil. Yet we treat it as an object, not as a living presence we are related to. This disconnection is perhaps our first fall from wholeness.”

Impermanence in Relationships: “All relationships, however beautiful, are impermanent. Seeing this not with fear but with gratitude brings freedom. Love deepens when it's not clung to, but celebrated as it flows and fades naturally.”

Relationship with Self: The foundation of all external relationships is the relationship we have with ourselves. If we carry self-conflict, no connection outside can resolve it. But when we meet ourselves fully, we meet others without demand.

Closing Thought:

The quality of our relationships reflects the depth of our self-awareness. When we stop trying to change others and begin to truly understand ourselves, we meet others not as roles—but as fellow travelers exploring the mystery of existence.